INT. THADDEUS STEVENS'S OFFICE, THE CAPITOL - NIGHT
Stevens is at his desk, paperwork piled high. There's a knock at the door.
THADDEUS STEVENS
It opens!
A nervous man enters hesitantly: Alexander Coffroth. 92.
Stevens glares at him with what looks like horror. Coffroth's frightened smile transforms into a rictus of pain. Then:
THADDEUS STEVENS (CONT'D) You are Canfrey?
ALEXANDER COFFROTH
Coffroth, Mr. Stevens, Alexander Coffroth, I'm, I'm -
THADDEUS STEVENS
(SKEPTICAL)
Are we representatives of the same state?
ALEXANDER COFFROTH
Y-yes sir! We sit only three desks APART -
Stevens waves him into a chair.
THADDEUS STEVENS
I haven't noticed you. I'm a Republican, and you, Coughdrop, are a Democrat?
ALEXANDER COFFROTH
Well, I... Um, that is to say... I -
THADDEUS STEVENS
The modern travesty of Thomas Jefferson's political organization to which you have attached yourself like a barnacle has the effrontery to call itself The Democratic Party. You are a Dem-o-crat. What's the matter with you? Are you wicked?
ALEXANDER COFFROTH
Well, I felt, um, formerly, I -
THADDEUS STEVENS
Never mind, Coffsnot. You were ignominiously trounced at the hustings in November's election by your worthy challenger, a REPUBLICAN -
ALEXANDER COFFROTH
No, sir, I was not, um, trounced! Uh, he wants to steal my seat! I didn't lose the election - 93.
THADDEUS STEVENS
What difference does it make if you lost or not?! The governor of our state, is...? A Democrat?
ALEXANDER COFFROTH
No, he's a... (baffled, terrified:) A, um, a Ruh...
THADDEUS STEVENS
Re.
ALEXANDER COFFROTH
Re.
THADDEUS STEVENS
(NODS)
Pub.
ALEXANDER COFFROTH
Pub.
THADDEUS STEVENS
Li.
ALEXANDER COFFROTH
Li.
THADDEUS STEVENS
Can.
ALEXANDER COFFROTH
Can. Republican.
THADDEUS STEVENS
I know what he is. This is a rhetorical exercise. And Congress is controlled by what party? Yours?
Coffroth doesn't know whether to answer. He shakes his head.
THADDEUS STEVENS (CONT'D) Your party was beaten, your challenger's party now controls the House, and hence the House Committee on Elections, so you have been beaten. You shall shortly be sent home in disgrace. Unless. 94.
ALEXANDER COFFROTH
I know what I must do, sir! I will immediately become a Republican and vote yes for -
THADDEUS STEVENS
NO! Coffroth will vote yes but Coffroth will remain a Democrat until after he does so.
ALEXANDER COFFROTH
Why wait to switch? I'm happy to SWITCH -
THADDEUS STEVENS
We want to show the amendment has bipartisan support, you idiot. Early in the next Congress, when I tell you to do so, you will switch parties. Now congratulations on your victory, and get out.